(To
the tune of “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz” by Janis Joplin)
Introduction
This Allagash Wilderness Waterway Ballad video was prepared from participants’ memorable moments of expeditions guided by Registered Master Maine Guide Linwood Parsons and his wife Betty.
Without a doubt, the Allagash Wilderness Waterway rates as the gem of Maine’s wilderness areas.
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The Ballad of the Allagash Wilderness
Waterway
(Kathy)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a big can of Ben’s.
I’m
out in the woods now,
The
flies never end.
Got
bitten all over,
No
help from my friends.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a big can of Ben’s.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a bed of my own.
A
mattress and box spring
That’s
not on the ground.
Last
night I got bruises,
I
slept on a stone.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a bed of my own.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a roll of TP.
Those
baked beans of Betty’s
Are
getting to me.
Been
wiping with leaves
Til
I got poison ivy.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a roll of TP.
(Linwood)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a deputy’s badge.
We helped
save two druggies
At
Little Allagash.
Ole
Andy was naked,
And
Tara was scared.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a deputy’s badge.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me new waterproof gear.
“Dry
bags” became “wet bags”
When
we sank to our ear.
We
swam down the rapids
A
chasin’ the beer.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me new waterproof gear.
(Betty)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a few more good years.
To
paddle with Linwood
And
Harry mit beers.
Chase
Rapids with Karen
Without
many fears.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a few more good years.
(Karen)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me an instant campfire.
No
sawing of firewood,
No
stripping of bark.
No
pleading with Linwood
Or
Harry to lite it.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me an instant campfire.
(Harry)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a brand new spruce paddle.
Chase
Rapids are coming,
Excitement
is high.
Cross
draw, sweep, and a pry,
Til
we all finished dry.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a brand new spruce paddle.
(Steve)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Maine Master Guide.
To
show us the Allagash,
In
swagger and stride.
And
teach us canoe rescue,
And
a loon landing wildlife bona fide.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Maine Master Guide.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Chickadee and a Loon.
The
bread in the Dead,
Cornish
hen in the coffee can.
Folger’s
Black Silk,
and
a pudding lid spoon.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Chickadee and a Loon
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a campsite to rest.
Spruce
gum for the rookie,
Counting
moose at its best.
A
swim though the rapids,
Flint
and steel for our test.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a campsite to rest.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Long Lake Dam
A
dam to portage if you can,
Or
paddle at risk and I’ll be dam.
A
spike waiting to rip the canoe,
Tim
and Steve paddled be dammed.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a Long Lake Dam.
(Tim)
Oh
lord take me down to the Allagash now.
Take
me to the north woods,
Where the moose runs wild and proud.
To
see the eagles soar,
As I
relax on the shore.
Oh
lord take me down to the Allagash now.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me some rapids right now.
The
"V" through the rocks
will
guide us somehow.
The
draw stroke shall save us
with
a quick turn of the bow.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me some rapids right now.
(Dundee)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me more beer.
To
help me create more cairns made of stone,
And
the whistles of willow,
And
the white birch bark stars.
So
much more to create, so
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me more beer!
(Paul)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a big ole white sail.
I’m
on Eagle Lake and,
The
wind never fails.
My
arms ache from paddlin’,
Oh,
S#%t is that hail?
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a big ole white sail.
(Linwood)
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me a big ole fat fish.
I'll
gut him and skin him,
Then
he'll land in my dish.
An
eighteen inch Brookie,
Now
that'd be my wish.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me a big ole fat fish.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me a bigger Canoe.
'Cause
the one I have now,
Just
simply won't do.
Need
more room for the beer,
for
the hard strokin' Crew.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me a bigger Canoe.
(Rick)
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me some stars in the Sky.
They
look near at hand,
yet,
are so high.
I'm
just a lightening bug seeking a mate,
in
the heavens above, but I'm feeling spry.
Oh
Lord, won't you buy me some stars in the Sky.
(Steve)
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me paddlers so grand.
Dundee
is prepared,
And navigates
first hand.
Timothy
skilled in the stern,
When
the river gets tough he insures the turn
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me paddlers so grand.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a campfire recipe.
Garret
flint and steel,
Tim
saws wood fire-to-be.
Linwood’s
cuisine is five-star,
Lobster
and eggs benedict are the par.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a campfire recipe.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me “Never say I wish I had …”
For
eight days we were in awe of the Allagash and the Loon,
Our
skills grew as we paddled in tune.
Coolers
with names of rivers,
All
are lifetime of memories delivered.
Oh
Lord, won’t you buy me a “Never say I wish I had …”
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References
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"Everyone must do something. I believe I will go outdoors with family and friends"
Steve’s latest book, Outdoor Play "Fun 4 4 Seasons" is available as an e-Book at Kindle ($3.99) and hard copy at Amazon.com ($11.95)
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