Friday, June 26, 2015

The Ballad of the Allagash Wilderness Waterway


(To the tune of “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz” by Janis Joplin)



Introduction

This Allagash Wilderness Waterway Ballad video was prepared from participants’ memorable moments of expeditions guided by Registered Master Maine Guide Linwood Parsons and his wife Betty.

Without a doubt, the Allagash Wilderness Waterway rates as the gem of Maine’s wilderness areas.
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The Ballad of the Allagash Wilderness Waterway

(Kathy)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a big can of Ben’s.
I’m out in the woods now,
The flies never end.
Got bitten all over,
No help from my friends.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a big can of Ben’s.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a bed of my own.
A mattress and box spring
That’s not on the ground.
Last night I got bruises,
I slept on a stone.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a bed of my own.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a roll of TP.
Those baked beans of Betty’s
Are getting to me.
Been wiping with leaves
Til I got poison ivy.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a roll of TP.

(Linwood)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a deputy’s badge.
We helped save two druggies
At Little Allagash.
Ole Andy was naked,
And Tara was scared.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a deputy’s badge.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me new waterproof gear.
“Dry bags” became “wet bags”
When we sank to our ear.
We swam down the rapids
A chasin’ the beer.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me new waterproof gear.

(Betty)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a few more good years.
To paddle with Linwood
And Harry mit beers.
Chase Rapids with Karen
Without many fears.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a few more good years.

(Karen)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me an instant campfire.
No sawing of firewood,
No stripping of bark.
No pleading with Linwood
Or Harry to lite it.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me an instant campfire.

(Harry)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a brand new spruce paddle.
Chase Rapids are coming,
Excitement is high.
Cross draw, sweep, and a pry,
Til we all finished dry.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a brand new spruce paddle.

(Steve)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Maine Master Guide.
To show us the Allagash,
In swagger and stride.
And teach us canoe rescue,
And a loon landing wildlife bona fide.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Maine Master Guide.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Chickadee and a Loon.
The bread in the Dead,
Cornish hen in the coffee can.
Folger’s Black Silk,
and a pudding lid spoon.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Chickadee and a Loon

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a campsite to rest.
Spruce gum for the rookie,
Counting moose at its best.
A swim though the rapids,
Flint and steel for our test.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a campsite to rest.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Long Lake Dam
A dam to portage if you can,
Or paddle at risk and I’ll be dam.
A spike waiting to rip the canoe,
Tim and Steve paddled be dammed.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Long Lake Dam.

(Tim)
Oh lord take me down to the Allagash now.
Take me to the north woods,
 Where the moose runs wild and proud.
To see the eagles soar,
As I relax on the shore.
Oh lord take me down to the Allagash now.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me some rapids right now.
The "V" through the rocks
will guide us somehow.
The draw stroke shall save us
with a quick turn of the bow.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some rapids right now.

(Dundee)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me more beer.
To help me create more cairns made of stone,
And the whistles of willow,
And the white birch bark stars.
So much more to create, so
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me more beer!

(Paul)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a big ole white sail.
I’m on Eagle Lake and,
The wind never fails.
My arms ache from paddlin’,
Oh, S#%t is that hail?
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a big ole white sail.

(Linwood)
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a big ole fat fish.
I'll gut him and skin him,
Then he'll land in my dish.
An eighteen inch Brookie,
Now that'd be my wish.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a big ole fat fish.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a bigger Canoe.
'Cause the one I have now,
Just simply won't do.
Need more room for the beer,
for the hard strokin' Crew.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a bigger Canoe.

(Rick)
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some stars in the Sky.
They look near at hand,
yet, are so high.
I'm just a lightening bug seeking a mate,
in the heavens above, but I'm feeling spry.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some stars in the Sky.

(Steve)
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me paddlers so grand.
Dundee is prepared,
And navigates first hand.
Timothy skilled in the stern,
When the river gets tough he insures the turn
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me paddlers so grand.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a campfire recipe.
Garret flint and steel,
Tim saws wood fire-to-be.
Linwood’s cuisine is five-star,
Lobster and eggs benedict are the par.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a campfire recipe.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me “Never say I wish I had …”
For eight days we were in awe of the Allagash and the Loon,
Our skills grew as we paddled in tune.
Coolers with names of rivers,
All are lifetime of memories delivered.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a “Never say I wish I had …”

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"Everyone must do something.  I believe I will go outdoors with family and friends"


Steve’s latest book, Outdoor Play "Fun 4 4 Seasons" is available as an e-Book at Kindle ($3.99) and hard copy at Amazon.com ($11.95)